We're awash in a sea of political correctness…Fuck That!

There’s a common misconception that atheists are mean, and evil people.  That we have no morals, and that we’re all a bunch of dicks, just waiting to ambush people out of their faith.  No!  I’m going to clear that up with a snapshot from my life, this is an average day for me.

I set my alarm clock for roughly 7:06 am (that would be 6:66 am if the clock went that high, mind you) so I can get my day started.  I make sure to load a new kitten into the alarm clock each night before bed.  Don’t worry!  It only administers a mild electric shock at the desired time.  I’m a heavy sleeper, I kinda need wailing cats in order to wake me.  So I grab my trusty hammer and silence my alarm clock, before shambling off to my kitchen (greeting the various syphilitic whores I keep chained up along the way) to fix breakfast.  I personally love a large bowl of baby-o’s smothered in orphan tears, but sometimes I just settle for fried aborted fetuses with a nice side of jehova’s witness intestines.  I like to have a nice stretch while watching the “Today” show, then I go off and shower in virgin blood.  I find that it’s a great moisturizer.

I usually have a little time before I need to go off to work, so I hit the streets to yell at people, and convince them that everything they believe in is absolutely wrong.  If they disagree with me, I simply yell louder and punch them.  I mean, it’s what they were expecting, since I’m a godless heathen with no moral compass.  Sometimes that can take an hour or two, so I have to rush so I can get to work and I need money because aborted fetuses aren’t cheap.  Hey, at least shelter kittens are free!  I get to spend all day at work being nice, and pretending I’m not a hideous abomination of a human being.  I mean, I believe gay people should be able to get married.  Why SHOULDN’T you hate me?

I love to bitch and complain about work all day, but mostly that’s because I have so much to look forward to afterwards.  It’s just a drunken whirlwind of orgies, cock fighting, and sodomizing random people.  I’m slowly working my way through the phonebook on that one, so look out Andrew Aaronson!  Luckily I’m a popular guy, so someone typically finds my naked, passed out body, and is able to get me back to my bed.  You know, I never thought tattooing my name and address on my ass would be useful, but it comes in handy!

That’s a usual day in my life.  Sometimes exciting things will happen to me like we’ll have a pizza party at work or something, but it’s usually pretty boring.  I hope you’ve enjoyed reading how atheists are just like everyone else!